Do Your Actions in High School Matter?

I recently read a Facebook post from a former classmate's wife.  She praised him for the wonderful husband and father he is and how truly grateful she is for him.  I see lots of posts like this from different people, but this one affected me differently.  This was someone I had a crush on.  This is someone I went on a date with.

I was so happy that he was making such a great life for himself and his family, yet at the same time I was so glad I wasn't the one writing the post about him.  In high school I surrounded myself with really great people, boys and girls.  They had high moral standards and ambitious goals for high school and life.  We supported each other in our efforts to improve.  Naturally I had crushes on many of them and even went on dates with some of them, but for one reason or another nothing ever came of it and we all went out separate ways.  I'm not very good at staying in contact with people so I don't really know what happened in most of their lives.  In my life though, I had some really great experiences.  Despite my great life there was one experience that I desperately wanted which continued to elude me: marriage.  Sadly, the older I got, the worse my relationships became.  The last relationship before I met my husband was the most troublesome of them all.  It was the memory of these boys from high school that gave me the strength to break it off.  I knew there were good, upstanding, men of character and integrity out there because I had seen and experienced their lives first hand.  So do your actions in high school matter?  I say yes.  The way you act in high school not only effects your life, but those you associate with.  It mattered to me in high school, but it mattered even more 14 years later.  Thank you to those boys and girls who lived up to their standards. Because of you I met the man of my dreams.

My husband is everything I ever wanted.  Apart from his normal qualities that I admire and appreciate, periodically things will randomly pop up about him and I'll remember wishing for those exact qualities in a husband as a young girl.  For example, while visiting his family we found a journal he had written when he was a boy.  In it he stated that he wanted to live on an acre of land and farm it.  As a young girl I yearned for that same thing.  We'll see if we get to live out that dream, but at least we both had it.

Birth

While running at the gym, staring out the window my mind starts to wander.  One day it wandered to my family and my beautiful children.  My baby is now one.  When her older brother was her age we were already pregnant with her.  Needless to say, while our family feels it best to wait, I am a bit baby hungry.  I'm truly blessed and actually enjoy being pregnant.  It's when they come out that things start to get tough.

Anyway, I was thinking about their births and my experience with them.  I had both of my children unmedicated in a birthing tub.  There is only one hospital that I know of in all of Utah who does that and we thankfully only lived 30 min away both times. As I contemplated a third child I started to think about what why I chose to go unmedicated, what got me through their births, and do I really want to do that again.  Yes, the water was wonderful.  My husband's unwavering support emotionally and physically (He and my doula were using counter pressure with every contraction.) were irreplaceable.  My nurses and midwives both times were simply fantastic. While all that helped me in my choice, the biggest motivator was my baby.  We were in this together.  I wasn't going to leave them alone.  Whatever endorphins or hormones I got I wanted to makes sure they got them too.  With  my first I wasn't exactly sure what was going on so I didn't pay as close attention as I had hoped to.  So with my daughter I focused more and I was with her as she moved down the birth canal  pushed her way into this world.  When she arrived they put her directly on my chest and the only thing I could think or say is, "We did it!"  Because we did.  We did it together.  Her new and precious life outside of the womb was now beginning.  But my kids are not alone on this journey called life.  Just like in birth, we are in this together. I will teach and love them the best that I know how.

After those tearful, but joyous thoughts, I started to notice the people around me.  The ones running on their treadmills and lifting weights.  The people outside walking to and from their cars to their different destinations.  I saw people of every age, size and color.  And I started to think about the Savior.  He willingly walked into the garden and he suffered all our sins, all our pains, all our sorrows.  He went through this life with us.  Every single one of us.  He is not going to leave us alone.  When we return to Him, He will be able to say, "We did it!"  Because it is only with Him that we can make it back.

 

Utah Caucus

With the primary election in full swing now and the Utah caucus just around the corner, I'm seeing a few posts on social media about the caucus.  I don't actually live in Utah now, we moved to California last year.  Because I experienced the caucus while in Utah and am currently experiencing a state without one, I felt it was important to share my observations and feelings.

I have no voice now.  I'm just a number.  At the caucus I got to see neighbors I've never met before.  We got to talk about the politics that are important to our lives right now.  There was discussion about how we felt about them.  I got to vote for someone who was really interested in what I had to say.  I got to vet a delegate to make sure that s/he really did align with my feelings.  It was an awesome, uniting and empowering experience.  I've been living in California for almost a year now and there is no polite or proper way to get into a political discussion with any of my neighbors, especially not on such a large scale.  I have no idea who shares my opinions or sees things a different way.  I miss the caucus.  It was a safe place to discuss really important issues.

As I understand it, one of the frustrations with the caucus is that the public at large doesn't get to vote on the candidates because they are weeded out at the convention and there isn't a "true" primary.  In my experience, as a regular citizen, I don't vet candidates like a delegate does.  I've been a state and county delegate and I've also been a regular citizen.  As a delegate I really did feel the weight of my responsibility.   I was at every debate and meet and great that I could go to, even the candidates who didn't have a chance.  I truly vetted the candidates and shared the things that I learned with those who had an interest.  To be honest it wasn't many.  Most seemed to feel that they voted for me to do a job and let me do it.  So from my personal experience, I think it would truly hurt Utah to cut out the caucus and delegates and put all those candidates on a primary ballot.  We, as a people, are busy.  Rightfully so.  We have families, work, school, church, friends, occasions, etc.  We don't have time to vet all the candidates that can be on a ballot.  The candidates don't have the funds to reach all of us either.  So who wins.  S/he who has the most money.  S/he who gets coverage on social media or has the catchiest sound byte.  The may or may not be the best for Utah. 

If we lived in calmer times when people had the leisure and desire to get together and politely discuss politics and governance, I may say there isn't a need for a caucus, but I doubt it and we don't.  Whatever is going on in Utah, please keep the caucus.  Someday I want to move back and I hope I will still have a voice.