What!? I have to do it?

When I was little my mom and dad could fix everything.  My toy was broken and they fixed it.  I skinned my knee and they fixed it.  I wanted to learn to ride a bike and they helped me.  I had a sad heart and they healed it.

As I got older we had to branch out to others, but again they could fix everything.  My teeth were crooked and the orthodontist straightened them.  I felt sick and the doctor gave me medicine.  I had a speech impediment and the speech therapist fixed it.  My bike was stolen (because my brother left it unlocked at a school overnight) and he bought me a new one.

Up to that point in my life if something went wrong someone else could and would always fix it.  Until one day I got mono.  Not the fun way either.  I went to the doctor and he told me he couldn't fix it.  "I's a virus and has to run its course," he said.  I couldn't take that for an answer.  Doctors are supposed to fix everything! So I went back, THREE times.  I was really hurting! In my past doctors could always make me feel better.  Maybe if I just went back enough I'd find one who would "really" help me. In the end I really did just have to wait for it to run its course.  And that's when I began to understand that sometimes they only person who can fix it, is me.

My broken heart isn't healed by my mother's warm embrace anymore.  My husband's embrace works a little bit better nowadays.  Seriously though, if I really want to heal my emotional wounds I have to do it.  I have to find them, look at them, appreciate them and let them go.  My mom, sister, friends, and husband cannot fix it for me.

Another area I struggle with is eating.  I want to eat more healthy foods and teach my family to do the same.  I am the gate keeper for the food my family eats.  I've read cookbooks, listened to dietitians, and watched fad diets come and go.  I think I have a pretty good idea what healthy food is.  The problem is that the cookbook, dietitian and diet are not going to fix my problem.  I choose what to buy, prepare and ultimately eat.

In summary, I'm so grateful for the helpful books, videos, experts, etc who help me learn and grow in areas that I am weak, but ultimately I'm the only who can "fix" me.